My Sober Valentines Love Story

Valentines Day 2019, My Sober Love Story

 

Pig Of A Man

Back in June 2016, as you may know, I quit alcohol. 

Not only did I do that but I also quit every single dating site I was on.  

Why?

I took a conscious decision that I needed to find my true self, my real self. Not the one I’d been hiding behind through drinking. 

You see, I used to use dating sites to find women for my selfish needs. A quick rumble in-between the sheets, a cuddle, a date night, or just someone to be there when I needed them. 

YES!!! I can hear all you women screaming ‘Pig Of A Man’. 

That’s very true, I was that awful pig, in fact I disgust myself now, that I was once that man. 

Once I’d had my fix of emotions, I’d be done with them, toss them aside and scurry on back to the pub. I’d even make them hate me so much they’d dump me, as emotionally that wouldn’t hurt them as much, or at least that’s what I thought in my eyes. 

Maybe the truth was, I just didn’t have the balls to dump them myself, incase they screamed and shouted at me and that way I’d feel guilty for using them. 

Because that’s all I was doing.

18 Months Sober

In the first 18 months of my sobriety, I started to grow. 

It was like I found myself, I had more self worth. 

Hitting the gym nearly every night, losing weight and I started getting compliments on how great I was looking. 

Not only that but also on how kind natured and caring I was becoming. Especially towards those on sober journeys like mine and to my amazement, I even started to realise there was actually a nice me inside. 

Why is 18 months significant?

Well, it was almost bang on 18 months of sobriety, whilst I was touting for running clients on a sober site, someone messaged me. 

They said to me that they were interested in running but couldn’t afford it, just at the moment. 

Unbeknown to me, she wasn’t actually interested in running, it was more the coach she was interested in!

I wasn’t even looking for love at this point in my life. I was happy being single and doing my own thing, running, trying to start a business. Plus I had debts that I felt ashamed of and didn’t want that to be a burden on someone, until I’d paid them off. 

Scary thing was, this woman blew me out of the water, so none of those issues even mattered. 

Long Distance Love

The other big factor in all this, was the distance. I could never see it working out. 

Claire lived 200 miles away in Ascot and I lived with my parents in a tiny village in Leeds, Yorkshire. 

I very rarely stepped out of my village to go to Leeds, let alone go anywhere else.

This whole thing scared the shit out of me, so how could it possibly work? 

Well, you see the thing is, when you get sober, you start to challenge yourself. You step out of your comfort zone. 

So that’s what I did. 

I arranged to meet her and drove to down to London, to meet her. That’s when my new life really started, we clicked the very first time. 

We never stopped chatting!

We were on the phone all the way home, like a real ‘Gavin and Stacey’ moment! 

So much so, that we arranged to meet again, as soon as possible. 

The following week. And pretty much every week, after that!

It’s now been 14 months and I truly believe that I’ve met the love of my life. 

We celebrated Claires first year sober back in February 2018. 

We’ve been on holiday, spent numerous weekends away, she supported me in Completing My First Liverpool Marathon. 

We’ve both met each other’s children, both our parents have met and I feel truly accepted by hers. 

Then, the biggest thing that happened is this man, that would never venture out of his little village in Leeds, has decided to move his whole life to Ascot, to be with Claire. 

Together we’ve bought a house and in Easter 2019 I’ll be moving permanently to start a new life in the South of England. 

I’m no longer a “Pig Of A Man,” more like a “Pig In Sh….” 😉

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Claire And I at a family meal in January 2019

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