Are You Suffering With Your Drinking Habits, Feel Alone And Nowhere To Turn
This Was Me Back In Early 2016
“I need help with my drinking”. Words I often uttered to myself on a daily basis. See If you’ve read my earlier posts you’ll realise how much of a heavy drinker I was. How much I was drinking on a daily basis, but for those just reading this blog post I’ll give you an insight. My daily life consisted of me waking at between 4:30am and 5:30am, with a stinking hangover feeling like I’d not had an ounce of sleep. I’d crawl out of my pit and throw on my work clothes which were in a heap on my floor, then head downstairs as I live in loft at my parents. Brush my teeth, head down another flight of stairs and make a very large mug of coffee. Watch half hour or so of BBC news. Then at 6:00am or just after head out of the door. Drive to work and start my shift as a lorry driver.I’d then rush round my daily route getting finished as early as possible just so I could get my daily fix of alcohol.
So why in early 2016 was it that I knew I needed to get help with my drinking. Well I’d done what most people are doing right now this month dry January. I actually made it to nearly 3 months 14th March to be exact totally alcohol free. Then I decided that I’d had enough and wanted to have a drink. My sisters fiancé at time suggested to me to just go out on a Sunday not to drink through week. So I thought I’d give this a go. I epically failed this within the first weekend as I drunk Friday, Saturday, Sunday and every single day right up until 31st May. This was the day of my last ever alcohol drink. So that’s how my life was daily in a nutshell. How was it to live it though in more detail and does this relate to you.
My Daily Drinking Habit
I’d leave work head to a bar near my work, order a beer and go sit on my own at a table. Get out my phone and jump onto a dating app, facebook, or some other sort of social media, all in the hope of not feeling alone. Some occasions someone I knew might come in and sit with me for a chat or a couple of pints. On other occasions I’d sit there alone for 6-7 hours at a time, staring around at others enjoying themselves. I’d only leave my bar stool every half hour or so to go to bar and get another pint. This would be every single night of the working week.
On a weekend I used to drink a little more socially. I’d have my daughter on a Saturday so that meant my drinking started later in the day. I’d usually start around 5pm when she had gone home, I’d head up road to my local pub and see some of lads I’d stay there long after they had gone home most weekends only stooping drinking when last orders had been called. Then it’d be home to sleep it off until Sunday morning where I’d start at lunchtime once again. Sunday was my favourite day lots of people to chat with and a really good day for drinking I could get through a lot on a Sunday easily 14 pints.
As in my sub heading, “Are You Suffering With Your Drinking Habits, Feel Alone And Nowhere To Turn” this was me. I knew everyday I woke up I had a drink problem, I felt lonely, but didn’t want to admit to myself that it was a problem I needed to fix. This despite every single day waking groggy, hungover fuzzy headed and constantly tired. All that disappeared at 4pm when that first pint of lager touched my lips. Oh the joy of that first beer it was like laying in paradise with the water lapping against your feet. Only problem was a few hours later it was like a rainy, stormy miserable afternoon on the yorkshire moors lost with no way of finding your way home.
Despite all this I continued to do it and why ?. I tell you why I knew no way out. I knew no other way to live my life, see for last 18 years or so since I was 18 or 19 its all I knew. You finish work you go to pub, you have a good session then you go home sleep it off. This was how I lived my life, no one in my family understood this but I saw it as the norm. It’s reason I never held down a steady relationship, reason I was always skint, why I hardly ever had a foreign holiday or any holiday for that matter. Reason I only had one mate that stuck around me like a shadow because we were both the same. We were alcoholics but we couldn’t ever admit it to ourselves. In our eyes we were just having a good time.
Does This Sound Like Your Life
I hope you’re reading this because the post title resonates with you. Hopefully this post is going to be the start of your new life. Maybe you’re going to pub every night after work and feeling alone, or drinking a bottle of wine every night when kids go to bed. You maybe know deep down alcohol is taking over you’re life slowly and it’s time for you to speak out. It took me years to realise I had a problem, it then took me many more years til I could admit it to myself. Even then it took me to have that break in January 2016 and the subsequent two and half months of binge drinking to finally bring me to rock bottom.
Don’t suffer alone anymore like I did, it took a programme from Louis Theroux ‘Drinking To Oblivion’ to make me see that my drinking was affecting those around me. It was only then that I called my local alcohol support group Forward Leeds and started looking for blogs like this online. Only thing was blogs like mine didn’t exist then, not from blokes with drink problems, only women. So If you’re reading this as a bloke or a woman in my old situation please comment and I’ll try help you. I’ve helped many people find a new life SOBER.
Finding Somewhere to turn
So If you’re at rock bottom today don’t suffer any longer, there are places you can turn to and also people you can talk to including myself. Plus many more social media platforms even have advise and help. Lots more than they did 5 years ago, blimey even I have started one up on facebook called Sober + Fit TRIBE. Along with blogging about my life her I also post with my partner on our own blog Sober Fit Couple. Plus you can always contact your own local alcohol support group. You just really do need to find that rock bottom moment.
If this blog has been useful or sounds like a family member or friend or colleague please share this story with them. Please get them to contact myself or someone like me. I’d love to hear your comments on this so feel free to write below.